Sometimes it's easy to ignore, sometimes you only hear stories of it. Other times, maybe one or two you find yourself in these situations. It takes something from you, and it feels like you cannot take it back no matter how much you think, no matter how much you want to change it. It breaks you when you hear everyone say how much the place you are in is full of justice, and maybe it is true, but you must know that you are not part of it. You are different, you only face oppression without the side of justice, because you are not like the others. They use religion to make you believe that there is something out there for you too and use religion again to break you like the words of God can be manipulated it so easily without any thoughts, without any consequence. You start to question what is it exactly that you are fighting for? Yourself perhaps? A loved one? Justice? Someone who needs you? Is it worth all the trouble? Are they worth it? Are you? And before you realize it, you are already poisoned by their lies about how fair everything is, religion, with everything that you have been taught before. Running away is a tool to help, but what if it happens repeatedly? Then where exactly should we run to…
I feel guilty for not being able to help my family, specifically my sister. She tries her best efforts to stay in a job that barely pays her so she can give me allowance. I feel guilty for only knowing how to write about it, I really feel useless, despite trying to learn how to improve other skills of mine that could bring us money, I still haven’t achieved anything so far. I can only write these blog posts talking about how I feel. Maybe someone could read and relate, maybe they could read and get entertained. I don’t know, but all I'm hoping for is relief, a way, a solution that could truly help us. You know feeling guilt is a lot like feeling as if a dark cloud is hovering over you, it may not rain, but it's blocking the sunlight to the point where all you are seeing is darkness, your own light getting dimmed. You feel yourself slipping away into a box where all the voices you hear are repeating what you don’t want to hear. That’s how I feel right now, the deeper I try to ...
Comments
Post a Comment